Secure and Insecure Strivers

We at Sense Endurance first came across the concept of "secure and insecure strivers" in a blog by The Growth Equation. The term "insecure striver" immediately struck a chord—it describes many of the competitive age-group triathletes we’ve worked with over the years. As coaches, we’re not just interested in physical development but also in helping athletes become secure strivers—those who approach their sport from a place of confidence and balance, rather than a constant need to prove something.

Secure strivers are better athletes, happier athletes, and athletes who will thrive in the long term. They’re athletes with fewer self-doubts who worry less and have a better balance between all the demands of life. It’s worth pursuing this mental growth in addition to physical development in your path towards becoming a better athlete.

Let’s break it down simply: insecure strivers need accomplishments to validate their identity and self-worth. They chase goals not just for the sake of improvement but to feel like they *are* someone because of what they achieve. We all know these athletes—people who can dig deep, push to the brink, and seem to have endless reserves of energy. But often, they also sacrifice balance. They prioritise triathlon over work, family, and friends, wearing their relentless dedication like a badge of honour.

But this badge comes at a cost. Insecure strivers push because they feel like they have something to prove, but often at a cost. Whether it’s injuries, burnout, or losing sight of the bigger picture, these athletes have more difficulties lasting in the long run. Sure, they might enjoy a couple of years of success before vanishing from the sport, either sidelined by overtraining or completely burnt out. Their deep drive comes from insecurity, and it leads them to work hard, but not necessarily smart.

On the flip side, secure strivers aren’t obsessed with validation. They care deeply about their goals, but their self-worth isn’t tied to whether they succeed or fail. When injury, fatigue, or a bad race happens, it doesn’t crush them. They see it as part of the process, not a reflection of their value as athletes or people. They’re driven, but they have perspective.

The Allure and Downfall of Insecure Striving

Insecure striving often gets romanticised in our sport. We celebrate those athletes who push to the point of collapse or the ones who juggle 20-30 hours of weekly training with a full-time job and family. The reality is that these athletes often fail to see the bigger picture.

Insecure strivers believe that working harder is the only path to success. They resist rest days, overtrain, and push through injuries because they feel that taking a break would mean that they’re not doing enough. They can’t step back because their identity is so tightly tied to the act of pushing themselves. They think that grinding harder is what’ll have them reach their potential, but what actually happens is they spiral into frustration, burnout, or injury.

Another significant issue is how insecure strivers react to setbacks. A bad race isn’t just a bad day; it becomes a blow to their confidence. An injury feels like a personal failure, not just a bump in the road. And when things go wrong, they start to question everything—especially themselves. This mindset creates a vicious cycle, where setbacks reinforce their insecurity, driving them to push even harder without making the adjustments they need.

The Steady Success of Secure Strivers

On the other hand, secure strivers take a more measured approach to training and competition. They don’t shy away from hard work, but they understand that progress takes time and that more hours don’t necessarily equal better results. They embrace recovery as part of their plan, knowing that rest is just as critical to their success as training.

What sets secure strivers apart is their ability to handle setbacks. When things go wrong, they don’t panic. They adjust, re-focus, and keep moving forward. For them, it’s not about proving something—it’s about getting better, smarter, and stronger over time. They have the ability to see beyond today’s workout or this season’s race. They’re not constantly looking for external validation, so they can stay calm in the face of challenges and trust that their plan will ultimately lead to success.

This mindset is what enables secure strivers to stick around in the sport for the long haul. They may not be talking about the sport every single instance, but they’re the ones still improving, still enjoying the process, and still finding fulfilment in the sport years down the line. They’re in it for the long game, and that’s where real potential is unlocked.

Our Role as Coaches: Building Secure Strivers

We at Sense Endurance believe that we are not only responsible for guiding physical development but also for building secure strivers. We create training plans, track progress, and monitor workouts, but it’s just as important to create a mental and emotional framework for success. We want athletes to trust in their plan, in their coach, and, most importantly, in themselves.

Helping athletes develop into secure strivers means teaching them to differentiate between productive effort and destructive overwork. It’s about helping them recognise when they’re pushing too hard or when they need to step back, trusting that doing so won’t derail their progress. It’s a process of getting them to understand that rest days aren’t a sign of weakness, but a critical part of the path to improvement.

Too often, we see athletes who are on the verge of burnout because they’ve bought into the idea that more is always better. They’ve lost sight of why they started the sport in the first place. Training may start feeling like a job or an obligation as athletes feel like they have to prove something.

Learning to Trust the Process

One of the key markers of insecure striving is an inability to trust the process. Athletes who are driven by insecurity second-guess their training, worry about missing a session, and lose their cool when setbacks occur. The irony is that the more they grasp for control, the more it slips away.

Triathlon is a sport where it’s easy to get obsessed with improvement. And that’s fine—until the pursuit of betterment becomes a trap. Secure strivers know that growth isn’t linear, and that setbacks are part of the game. They can step back when necessary and keep the bigger picture in mind. They trust that their consistent, balanced efforts will lead to results over time, without the need to constantly prove themselves.

At the end of the day, we all need to ask ourselves: are we chasing improvement because we genuinely love the process, or because we’re trying to fill a hole of insecurity? Understanding that difference is key—not just to success in sport but to finding fulfilment in the pursuit itself.